Quantcast

Trader Joe’s to open sixth Chicago store in Edgewater

Monday, April 1, 2013
By Jeremy Bressman

Official logo. Credit: traderjoes.com

*****DISCLAIMER – as revealed on Facebook later in the day on April 1, this story is satire.  Happy April Fools!******

The popular market chain Trader Joe’s has announced that, along with a new Evanston location, they will open a sixth store in the city of Chicago right here in Edgewater.  The company apparently has signed a long term lease to open a new smaller urban concept store at the vacant Blockbuster space at the Berwyn & Broadway intersection.

“The location just made a lot of sense.” Trader Joe’s spokeswoman April Phoole told the Edgeville Buzz.  “We think the (former Blockbuster) space has a ton of potential based on foot and car traffic, and our customers can go right next door to Pier One for fine stemware to go along with their Two Buck Chuck wine.”

48th Ward Alderman Harry Osterman’s office has been courting Trader Joe’s for years, apparently.  “Anytime the Edgeville Buzz posted about a business closing, the readers always suggested Trader Joe’s, Trader Joe’s. We heard the residents loud and clear and are happy to welcome Trader Joe’s to the neighborhood,” Osterman said.

Trader Joe’s plans to add a two story parking garage above the store to accomodate the additional traffic, however at the time of publishing specific design plans were not realeased.  It is expected that customers will be able to enter the garage both off Broadway and Berwyn.  The store is expected to open April 1st, 2014.

*****DISCLAIMER – as revealed on Facebook later in the day on April 1, this story is satire.  Happy April Fools!******

Tags: , , ,

  • Theresa Markham

    please please please tell me this is no April Fool’s.

  • http://www.facebook.com/todd.israel Todd Israel

    This is an April Fool’s joke, right?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/liz.bilitz Liz Bilitz

    This is amazing, but please don’t break my heart and announce it’s an april fools joke

  • Brian

    there’s no way it’s a joke April Phoole is a serious spokes women.

  • Alder Man

    Duh, it’s a joke. Spokesman in article says April Phoole. Sorry folks

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1121959405 Dennis McGuire

    April Fool!

  • Millie

    So very very mean :)

  • Grumpy Catalpa Gardens Cat

    I finally smiled, then died on the inside. – Grumpy Cat

  • bdickus2001

    Of course it’s an April Fools gag…look at who they said announced it: “…Trader Joe’s spokeswoman April Phoole…”

  • Grumpy Catalpa Gardens Cat

    I finally smiled…then died on the inside. -Grumpy Cat

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1289296757 Steven D Rosenberg

      Like

  • Meredith

    Not cool. Not cool at all.

  • http://twitter.com/FGFM FGFM

    And Uptown Update wept.

  • becca130

    Edgeville Buzzkill.

  • Mickey

    thanks for reminding me…..
    it is pretty clear that our alderpersons are not doing their job. many of us have been vocal about this request for quite some time.

  • Edgewater resident

    I’m sure Edgewater Buzz thinks they are so clever and funny with this sick joke. I find it the opposite.

  • I was fooled

    That was just mean :)

  • Joseph Fedorko

    Go to Hell. Some things are not worth joking about. And shame on Harry Osterman if he was in on this.

  • brianfmorrissey

    NOT FUNNY.

  • Kelly

    This had better not be an April Fools joke…

  • Harvey Kahler

    The store on Diversey Parkway in Lincoln Park would be a good model with parking above the store accessed from Orchard Street. That seems better for both pedestrian and vehicular traffic on Broadway.

    I’m thrilled that TJ’s will be only a half block from the Red Line and not having to go farther south to less convenient stores.

    A store at Howard & Western might be a good location for Rogers Park/South Evanston with lots of bus service and maybe a future Yellow Line station nearby.

  • Camcooke

    Not funny.

  • Andrew

    Very Very Mean!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/rickgarcia60 Rick Garcia

    Not even the least bit funny. Idiot!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=560375264 Bianca Blanc

    This isn’t funny, just disappointing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1289296757 Steven D Rosenberg

      Agreed

  • JMG

    You nailed April Fools!

  • AwesomeB

    Idiots.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=683785687 Jenni Beezus Spinner

    Satire and humor are supposed to be satirical and funny.

  • el

    what an awful “joke”.

  • Kaye

    This is a disgusting piece of bad journalism. It is sad to think the Edgeville thinks Edgewater is such a bad neighborhood that Trader Joes would never consider opening here. Advertisers stop supporting Edgeville. Consumers, boycott the businesses who advertise on it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=5521597 Thon Lorenz

    I hope you choke

    • Turbo60640

      I hope you get a grip.

  • Tbru

    Got me, hook, line & sinker. Good job.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1289296757 Steven D Rosenberg

    You knows there had been a strong hope in the community that this would happen. They sure pay better than Jewel or Dominick’s. not good form.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1289296757 Steven D Rosenberg

    You knows there had been a strong hope in the community that this would happen. They sure pay better than Jewel or Dominick’s. not good form.

    • Grammar Police

      Neither is your grammar, chief.

  • Edgewater Steve

    At first I didn’t get how this made sense as an ‘April Fool’s’ but now it’s crystal clear. This obsession with Trader Joe’s is scary. Its an average store at best. In a neighborhood full of great independent businesses, its almost sad how people are salivating over a place known for $2 bottles of wine.

  • Julie

    This should really be taken down. It’s not funny, and people can still read the headline (without the disclaimer). This is the way rumors get started.

  • Laura Louzader

    Not cool- wish like hell it were true, though. As it happens, there is a Trader Joe’s and Aldi’s in the same building together on Clybourn, which made me turn 90 shades of green in envy. I then thought of the battle Aldi’s had to fight with 49th Ward Aldercritter Joe Moore to get permission to open up in their present location at Granville & Broadway. Well, just look at that building, and that huge empty retail space in it. Was Aldi’s original intention to open a Trader Joe’s (Aldi owns Trader Joe) side by side Aldi’s in that building? It looks to me like that could have been the original idea, since that big corner space in the Granville is too big for anything else, and continues to sit vacant while Walgreen’s builds a new building down the block. Is this corner now in the 48th Ward since the remapping, or what? If it is, Osterman should court Aldi and see if he can persuade the concern to open a Trader Joe’s there.

  • Megan

    You monsters.

Become A Member: Get Email Updates
Become a member today, support your neighborhood news and stay in the loop. Members receive a special email update every week.

Member Me!