As a gay man, this is NOT surprising. Not at all. I have seen a growing “HIV culture of stupid”, as my friends and I call it” as a result of the increased longevity of survival after an HIV+ diagnosis and the lack of education concerning HIV, persistence of myth, and a bit of overconfidence on the transmission risks associated with gay sex.

It is also not surprising that numbers of infections are up. Look at how we meet each other now! It is all sex based! Straight people have Match.com and EHarmony. We have Grindr, Scruff, Adam4Adam, Dudesnude, Manhunt, Craigslist and… am I leaving anything out?

Check out any one of those sex apps and you will find guys who, actually quite refreshingly, are open about their HIV status. Good for them! BUT, You will also find guys who list themselves “Healthy Poz” (do not get a medical professional started on how there is NO such thing as Healthy Poz; it is two opposites! Having a virus is NOT the same as healthy and viral load numbers are only an indicator of load at the time of the blood draw. If only some of those guys were truly living a healthy lifestyle though. ONce they get HIV they totally stop using condoms when having sex with other HIV+ men. My HIV+ friends are always telling me about how they got the Clap, Gon, Syph, or something else. I want to punch them for being so blasé about their health. Now tell me? Does that seem like “healthy poz” to you?

Staying undetectable depends entirely on adherence to medications, avoiding lifestyle choices like drinking heavily, unnatural sleep patterns, antacids, BAREBACK SEX, etc and other things that that contributes the meds ability to work properly etc. I see guys who are HIV+ who seem as if they are actively trying to test the upper limits of their compromised immune systems. i.e. Bareback sex with other hiv+ men.

In any case, “undetectable” and “healthy poz” are NOT a good reason or excuse to have bareback sex! I can not believe the number of young gay men on those sites BEGGING for bareback sex with the phrase “I just got tested and I am neg, can you breed me!?”. WHAT THE HELL? Do they use a recent test result as an open invitation ALL The time? How do they know that the guy that “bred” him last night didn’t give him HIV? Stupid. Stupid Stupid. And this is what happens when guys who are “undetectable” and “healthy poz” start telling them that “there is almost no chance of getting it!” USE A CONDOM people! Please!

Anyhow, then there are the guys, and we have ALL met them, who conveniently do not disclose their HIV status, at all. Reliying entirely on Statistics and hoping they do not pass it on. Again, those guys may be the ones who believe in the propoganda that “Healthy Poz” or “undetectable” are the same as HIV-. Or maybe they just like playing Russian Roulette with other people’s health.

I think that the best course of action is of course EDUCATION. Education has brought the stigma associated with HIV a LONG way in the last 10, 20, 30 years, BUT now you have kids, and we have all met them, who go around with the mindset “well, if I get it, I can just take the pills and live a normal life”. Lemme tell you, my friends with HIV would give anything to live “a normal life” again and not have to take those pills.

And don’t get me started on Prep! (Pre-exposure pills). What is being marketed as an added preventative measure against HIV infection is turning into a free-for-all bareback sex culture on those sites. “i am on Prep!” say some of those profiles. Well, GOOD FOR YOU we are NOT having bareback sex! But does that stop them from asking? No. It does not. A Prep prescription should be only handed out with a great deal of education and a good talking to from the doc. Not like Halloween Candy. I am sure that PRep is saving a great many gay men from themselves though. I guess that is a good thing? Just wait a while longer though and I am sure we will start to see a higher rate of OTHER STDs, some drug resistant, from all the guys who cease condom usege now that they have their new Wonderpill.